Of Our Four-Legged Family and Death

On April 6, Spice’s time had come and we called Dr. Frey of Peaceful Passing. He was 17 years old and had suffered from kidney disease for the last couple of years. He’d lost over half his body weight earlier in that period and twice he decided to stop eating. That’s when I realized he was a “social eater” and I started keeping dry food on my desk so he would snack while I surfed the Internet.

Following his death I began to ruminate on my grieving process – or the lack of one in my estimation of what grieving should look like – be it over family, friends, or pets. Death and faith have been a part of life for me from a very young age. I’ve been told that at my mother’s funeral (I was just 13 months old) I was running around like any toddler. Someone told my dad to make me stop, but he refused on the basis that he didn’t want me to see death as a bad thing. And in my experience although I miss the departed I am comforted that they are in a better place and no longer suffering.

Instead it’s the little things I remember that bring sweet memories and mini-moving pictures in my mind …

How affectionate Spice was this last year and the stretching out of his little paw as he lay in your lap asking for more chin rubs.

The funny noise Sugar’s ears made as she shook her head – balalalululump!

My Sugar

Sugar looking at you with such intensity as if she were using telepathy to tell you something – and then chuffing in disgust when you didn’t get it.
 
 
Daddy teaching me how to cook, fish, and shoot. Calling me Pumpkin or Little Indian depending on how I was acting.

Daddy (my birth father)

And Dad’s (Dutch’s) smile that could light up a room. Such a gentle nature for a man who had endured so much, surviving the Bataan Death March and the Japanese prison camps.

Dad (Dutch) & I

Daddy taking me to get my ears pierced – twice – before I was 10 years old and buying me red nail polish for Christmas. And Dad sending me to a Mary Kay party when I was 17 with a blank check – “’cause you need to know how to do these things if you’re going to be a successful lawyer” (yea, back then I thought I wanted to be a lawyer).

Knowing that there was no hope of getting what you wanted if Dad said “no.”

Dad (my adoptive father)

Hanging with Daddy in the tire shops and shoe repair shops.

Daddy

And Snips’ barking – 0 to 200 decibels without warning. Watching Charlie jump out of his skin. Getting Snips going with three little words: “Is Daddy Home?”

Snips

For most of his life Spice became a recluse whenever strangers came to our house, but in his last year he came out from under the bed to be with our friends, old and new; to sit on the porch with our pet sitter and enjoy a last spring day.

Let your Cat Loaf rise on a warm window sill for 20 min.